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TRUST

Pete Middleton

What do you need from someone to trust them?

Absolutely nothing.

Trust has very little to do with anyone else other than the way you interpret your experience of them. "Trust" is about yourself, and whether you can, and do, have trust in the choices you make.

This has profound implications in business and in personal lives, in the elimination of stress and directly upon the achievement of measurable results.

Trust is also absolute - you either have it or you do not. It is not possible to trust in part - that is a contradiction. It is so very simple - either you trust or you do not. If you are not able to trust - then it is important to discover what it is about your inability to decide that is the root of your indecision?

Trust is absolute, whereas in the decision making process, availability of all the facts is an absolute impossibility. The "Normal" procedure might be to gather as many facts and as much information as is available, prior to making an informed decision. In adopting this "Normal" procedure we kid ourselves! There is nothing wrong with the procedure at all - where we frequently create the myth, is in the conclusion and the actions that follow.

Have you ever done your research, come to a self evident or clear conclusion and still been either indecisive or not felt comfortable with the outcome? No trust? When the facts appear self-evident and the trust is not there - what is your experience? How does it feel? What emotion are you aware of? What is your mind doing and where is it - is it, here in the present or off in the future of "what ifs"?

For me "trust" is a grounded, solid, calm, knowing experience. It is simple to achieve but often, because of the way we have been taught to think, it is not easy. However, the good news is that it is easy to learn.

The ONLY barrier that gets in the way of "trust" is you. Trust is experienced when the mind, the heart and the soul [spirit, sense, essence, or whatever you call that energy that 'moves' you] are all aligned or in tune with one another. Nothing "religious" here - it is simply a matter of your own personal energy. Energy in opposition is stress or tension - energy aligned is either potential or movement. What do you want?

Developing "Trust"

We live in a 3-D world of time and space. To develop trust in ourselves, improve our ability to make decisions and eliminate stress and anxiety - we should respect and use these "Natural" elements - "time and space". They are there for our use and for our constructive benefit. Observations from my own experiences suggest the following are worth considering:

THREE QUESTIONS

1.What do I think?

2. When I think that - what emotion do I experience [what's my reaction]?

3. When I think that - how do I "feel" about it [what do I sense]?

THREE PRINCIPLES

1. Unless you begin to observe yourself, what you think, how you react and what makes you feel good - you will not develop trust in yourself.

2. Acknowledge your reactions and your "true feelings" and recognise that these are very different. Emotions are reactions to a stimulus, thought or experience whereas true feelings are a "sense" that occurs either after emotions have subsided or in the absence of any stimulus. For example, someone says something and you feel angry - this is emotion; sometime later you get a sense that they were lying to you - that is a "true feeling". It's instinctive.

3. Irrespective of what your mind thinks - your sense [your "true feelings"] - will never let you down. Trust your instinct.

THREE ACTIONS

1. Time management! Include time for "time out". It only takes minutes to go through the three questions above - and the outcome will save you time. If you don't allow yourself time for yourself - you deserve everything you get! Don't winge about what you experience - it is of your own making.

2. "Space". Choose your own physical space - the "when", the "where" and the "how". Take a walk, go to the toilet, take a break. However you do this make it "YOUR SPACE". This can be sitting at your desk in a busy office - it can be anywhere at anytime you choose - just choose it. Then allow yourself "Mental Space". Observe your thoughts and decide to accept or reject them - they are after all only thoughts. Learn to be comfortable with silence - using meditation techniques help. If your head is full with thoughts and distractions - how can there be any room for new ideas or observations? Create "mental space" for yourself - and notice how naturally creative and observant you are. No one else can do it for you.

3. Collaborate! You have spent years learning to think the way you do, and old habits die hard. Find two others to share in this process and experiment. The natural energy and dynamics of working in a threesome is huge and full of surprises.

You cannot trust others; you can only trust yourself. If you can't trust yourself, you won't find success and you'll miss a life that's quite magical.

Pete Middleton,
Adonia International

t : 01845 597804
m : 0786 6919 953

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