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Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too.

Voltaire, Essay on Tolerance

For all its flaws and all its magnificent capabilities, the Internet has given us a powerful forum….one that we all need to learn how to use. Like any tool, it can be used for great good….but it can be used equally well to destroy.

Do we believe everything we see on the Internet?  I hope not. There’s a LOT of trash out there…and a lot of outdated information that can be misinterpreted as current if we aren’t diligent.

The beauty is that we can be selective. We can delete or ignore anything we choose. Our mouse is our friend in these cases.

That being said, the Internet has given us a vehicle where we can share ideas and ultimately learn how to become vastly more tolerant. It’s given us a resource where we can learn from each other and teach each other. It’s the most effective tool I’ve found for bring thinking people together in dialogue. Like the telephone, it allows us to talk directly with others that we might not be able to meet face to face and allows us to talk openly. Internet takes communication one step further and allows entire groups of people to participate. This is a good thing.

That’s the original intent of the Internet - it was used by universities and agencies to share information and work cooperatively. But then marketing joined the fray…Now, too much of the Internet is based on in-your-face sales and marketing messages delivered to us - much of it delivered by autoresponders set up to bombard us with information that really doesn’t make much sense.

We’ve become a society of promoters, I fear. Worse, too often, the promotions are automated, mass produced and delivered to us because we’ve been identified by some machine and put on a list of warm bodies which might be influenced to buy with very little concern about how it impacts us.

Here’s an example. I welcome comments on this Blog. I don’t expect agreement with everything I say. And I’m open to discussing differences of opinion. The same is true of some forums I have established. To date, I’ve had to delete countless dozens of submitted comments. Why? Certainly not because they don’t agree or criticize me. The comments I delete have ALL fallen into two categories:

1. Self-serving promotional links to other links that offer — not information but links to products and services

2. Links to porn or other unsavory sites. (In fact I shut down one forum because it was being spammed by these kinds of links.)

Now, I’m serving notice. I will not tolerate either of these kinds of comments. I check them — and delete every one of them. But, if you are able and willing to share meaningful information - whether you agree or disagree with what you read here -and if you are capable of meaningful dialogue I welcome you with open arms.

This issue with inappropriate “comments” is just a symptom of a very serious problem, though. I’m beginning to think that we need an education on how to communicate.

I’ve noted in recent years a serious deterioration of our ability to get together in any forum and talk with each other. We’ve lost somewhere the ability to agree to disagree. Have we really become a society of people willing to let media, power groups and other individuals dictate what we should believe, how we should think and what is appropriate behavior. It would appear that we’ve become a society that demands conformity with whatever the current trend might and accepts each new trend without even questioning its validity or usefulness. I hope not!

We’ve become comfortable letting others think for us. And forgotten the practices of live and let live, agreeing to disagree and sharing ideas. We’ve stopped challenging whatever the current “establishment” dictates whether it be our politicians, media or even our local communities. This is extremely dangerous. We’ve been giving our power away.

But there’s hope! The Internet is the one vehicle that allows us to take our power back. We can step back and stop thinking of ourselves as promoters on a mission to dictate to others. We can talk person to person, really it’s possible. That’s what humanity is all about, after all, talking and working with each other for a common good…even when it means agreeing to disagree. 

“We’re all running a mile a minute, already,” was a statement that I heard frequently when I was a young adult. At the time I just couldn’t understand where this kind of thinking was coming from. Now that I’m much older, I’ve come to realize that this “mile a minute” has been magnified many times.

In fact, my own daughter made a telling statement some time back. She said, ” We’re all on a treadmill and we’re running just as fast as we possibly can. We can’t slow down because,  if we do, we’ll get run over. And, we can’t stop to help someone else, because if we get off we’ll never be able to get back on.”

I’m seeing a disturbing trend. Americans simply are running themselves to death. Sadly, we seem to be running backwards and getting further and further away from our goals and reality. Worse, the faster we run, the more vulnerable we’re becoming. What’s happened?

It’s really simple. We’re driven by our own personal goals, some worthy and attainable, some depressingly out of reach. But we’re also driven by the incredible necessity to keep up with society and job demands and escalating costs – all of which have spiraled out of control. Many of us are working two and three jobs, just trying to stay even. Those that have jobs are spending easily 60-80 hours a week trying to keep them - and the rest are spending at least that much time a week trying to find work.  But that’s not the tragedy.

The real tragedy is that we’re so driven that we simply have stopped asking questions. What would happen if we asked, “Why?” Why do I work such long hours when so many other Americans are job-less? Why can’t I get a job when employers say they can’t find quality workers in America? Why are machines replacing employees at every level of American society from grocery stores and restaurants to media and customer service?    

We live and work and think in “sound bytes”. We hear and see so many messages that we’re tuning out. We’re not even looking for the whole story or asking critical questions. We buy into the messages without so much as a “why?” or “does this really make sense?” This week we follow a low carb diet, last week we feasted on complex carbs — for no other reason than that’s what some self-proclaimed expert told us we should do. Did we ask ”why?” Did we look for the story behind the story? Probably not.   

Questions are key to helping us resolve most of the challenges we face. In fact, asking the right questions can make a huge difference in our quality of life.

“Why?” It’s a powerful question that forces clarity.

“You really do want to buy your dream home - even if it costs a paltry $1 Million, don’t you?” (Sales people are taught to tack ”don’t you” “wouldn’t it” “don’t you agree” onto the end of their sales pitches because they know it pushes buyers to a “Yes”. ) But, what if you, the buyer, hesitated just a moment - long enough to ask “why?” If you did, would you, just maybe, discover that the $1 Million house, is really NOT all that desirable after all? Or that perhaps, you’d be so busy working to pay for that house, you’d never be home long enough to enjoy it?

When called on to vote, what would happen if we asked, “Who really will profit if this law passes?” “Where is the money?” “Why does this candidate deserve my vote? What has he done that makes me think he deserves to represent my interests?” 

How often do we accept the carefully structured marketing / sales messages that bombard us without question…and then (when it’s too late) discover that we really did contribute to a process that has caused us irreparable losses?

Isn’t that what got us into the terrible mess in the Middle East? Isn’t that how the Patriot Act got passed?

Marketers LOVE working with most of us. They know all they have to do is tell us something we want to hear. They groom presidential candidates and develop marketing campaigns for new products specifically for those of us who can be easily swayed by charismatic presentations and appeals to emotions. They know most Americans will to do anything - buy anything - based on immediate gratification of emotional needs — no questions asked.    

When the sales person insists that “you really do WANT to have the latest, high-definition gadget, don’t you?” consider asking “why?” If you can come up with a good reason beyond just that “it will impress your friends” or “trust me” or “this is a once-in-a-lifetime bargain” or ”an offer you can’t refuse”, great! But, be very clear about why you want it in the first place…and take a moment to verify that this special gadget will, in fact, deliver on your expectations in the long haul.  

Try it, you may find, as Helen did, that the questions will set you free. Helen was offered a promotion. It sounded wonderful. She’d get a title, a raise, a computer and a cell phone. She nearly said “Yes”. It seemed like a dream opportunity. It looked like she’d finally arrived. She’d gain prestige, more money and the potential of being able to work at home occasionally.

But then she asked, “Why?” and “What will all this do for me?”

She discovered that the computer and cell phone meant she’d be working 24-7, the raise would be something like $5 a week more after taxes and increased costs of holding that titled position (wardrobe, car, babysitters, entertaining clients, and the like). 

She said “Thanks, but no thanks” and reports that she’s never made a happier decision. She’s working less, enjoying life more and has actually seen no significant change in her ability to buy whatever she and her family wants.     

How soon we forget. When we were toddlers we knew well the power of “why”.  Something happens, though, as we grow older and more worldly-wise. Perhaps we are taught to accept everything we’re told on blind faith.  Or we got discouraged because we couldn’t find the answers or we were led to believe that it’s not cool to ask “why”.  When that happened, we lost control, power and meaning. And we became so many easily-manipulated, unthinking puppets responding to anyone who knows which strings to pull and which buttons to push.

Why are we on this treadmill running backwards? Could it be because we’ve lost all our whys?

Some of us have been on the internet for well over 10 years. Others are fairly new.

This can lead to some pretty amazing differences of opinion when it comes to evaluating the internet and its contributions to the better, more intelligent, more gracious world that was promised at the turn of the century. I would truly love to hear Toffler’s opinion today about how well his predictions have been implemented.

There was a time when we were led to believe that computers and the internet would be an ecological boon to humanity.  They promised to simplify our lives. They promised that we would have a more free time and less clutter. There was a time that we were told that we would be saving tons of paper and entire forests of trees because we’d use so much less paper. They would bring people together, allow us to work more efficiently, cut down on waste and open our minds an awesome new world.

Actually, the promise still can become a reality…. if we once will start to think about how these tools can be used productively. Yup, they’re just tools, that we can control and use to our advantage, just like hammers and fire and cars. Some of us got the message. But for some the promise has gone right over their heads - like the jet planes that are long gone before we hear their sonic booms.

It’s really not anybody’s fault. A huge segment of our population grew up in a time when it wasn’t even cool to know how to type. Yup, when I was in high school (before the internet) I wanted to learn to type. But I was put in a college prep course. I was told “You’ll never need to learn how to type. And if you want to learn, then you can do it on your own time. You need to learn Matrix Algebra, Chemistry and Latin.”

Then came the time when women - in a vane attempt to avoid being trapped in the secretarial pools and hoping to move into management - simply refused to admit that they knew how to type.

Of course, the influence of those who would use the internet and our computers to bombard us with their advertising and scams hasn’t helped people to feel comfortable. But they will … in fact, I’m hearing a lot of rumblings from companies and marketers who are saying the internet market is fading and they have to go back to direct mail again (hmm, I wonder who killed the goose that was laying the golden egg?)

Of course, there were those who flat out believed that once they graduated from college, they were done with learning…they could begin to reap the rewards in cushy jobs. And some actually did manage for awhile.

Many of us can thank our children for leading us - some of us kicking and screaming - into the bright new world of technology. Others of us, determined to stay ahead of the curve, jumped on the bandwagon with a vengeance. Our kids took to the internet much better than many of the older generations. It wasn’t because they were smarter and their elders were dumber. Our kids just didn’t know any better. They approach(ed) technology as a playtoy. They had no fear…any more than they had any fear of getting behind the wheel of a car racing down the freeway at 70-80 miles per hour. While Mom and Dad (more cautious as a result of many more years of experience and understanding cause and effect) tend to be deathly afraid they might break these newly acquired, and very expensive, investments, their kids charge full steam ahead.

Be all that as it may, computers and the internet are here to stay. Hopefully, the government will keep its hands off and let it be the wonderful free tool it was designed to be — all that it can be. Sure there are challenges that need to be addressed - and they will be in time. Like any tool, they have to be used properly. And it takes practice to learn how. In the wrong hands, they can cause great damage. They can be time wasters, tools for unwanted invasion into our private lives and sources of stress and frustration. They can be used to lure our children into danger and bottomless pits for addictive personalities who can’t say no to the latest and greatest gimmick.

Be that as it may, just think of the wonderful power our computers and the internet has put at our fingertips…

We CAN play games — all the old favorites and new ones. We can do puzzles, play alone, against the computer or with peers and we don’t even need to worry about losing the pieces.  

We CAN save countless forests - by learning to read on screen and resisting the urge to print out everything. (Heck, who wants to print out all those advertisements and company brochures anyway?) Why, we have an internet public library now and countless classics and popular books are already available for our online reading pleasure.

We CAN delete all those unwanted and offensive emails that get dumped on us via email — better yet, we can set our computers to do the deleting for us automatically.

We CAN ask for help on everything from how cook an egg and potty train our toddlers to how to build a computer from scratch and beyond…and get honest expert advice and recommendations from others who have “been there, done that”.

We CAN get our news from world-wide media, when and where it happens. Better yet, we CAN watch our leaders in action  We don’t even need to wait until the media tells us what they said and did (check out http://www.whitehouse.gov/ )

We CAN tell companies and politicians what we want and expect from them and exercise our rights to say NO when they’re off base. Google, Dogpile and the other search engines put their websites, email addresses and phone numbers at our fingertips almost instantaneously.

We CAN be heard, loud and clear! And keep speaking up until we are heard.

We CAN literally let our fingers do the shopping and become very savvy shoppers at the same time… check the quality of the product we’re buying and get the best deals available in a world-wide market.

We CAN save gas and time, cut down rush hour traffic, and reduce their impact on global warming…using our computers and the internet as they were designed to be used… just as soon as we get past the obsessive need to control what everyone else is doing and learn to treat each other as mature, responsible people who do know how to take pride in our work.

We CAN get acquainted with other peoples and cultures and build a peaceful world network where friends around the world talk intelligently with each other and work cooperatively together.

We CAN even get advanced education in any field from major universities - for free from major universities (check out http://www.oculture.com/weblog/2006/10/free)university_1.html and http://ocw.mit.edu/ocwWeb/index.htm  

And, we CAN learn to control these powerful tools. They are, after all, not a whole lot different than cars and microwaves….machines with replaceable parts that we can manage for great good.